Мелочи жизни

(20442#я): В тему: в сети не нашел - вставляю сюда.
Все истинная правда: как с натуры писано. :)

P.S. Авторство не мое, упаси боже :)

National programming styles explained

Any Russian programmer will, after a couple minutes of reading some code, jump and tell himself: rewrite the whole damned thing! Then he will have some second thoughts about how long that would take, so he'll spend the rest of the day convincing himself that it only appears to be a big task. Naturally, it should work out just fine if he'll just sit down and do it. At least the code will come out right and elegant. Next morning he's feeling fresh and self-satisfied and reports to the management that it will only take one day to rewrite that piece, no more. Yes, no more. Two, in the worst case and if you adjust for all the risks. In the end, the management will give him a week and he'll successfully complete it after 6 months... when that piece will be seen by another Russian programmer.

Meanwhile, in the four neighboring cubicles the work of Chinese programmers does not stop for a second. They manage to report to work before the Russian and leave after him, but do about 3 times less work. This quartet does not write any code for a long time, they only maintain the code that was originally written by an Indian and since then rewritten twice by the Russian. This code does not just have bugs. That is their nest. The nest continuously reproduces itself using the favorite Chinese code reuse technique called copy/paste. From there bugs spread out by means of static variables and pointers passed into functions (since a Chinese programmer can't live with the inconvenience of not being able to modify outer scope variables passed into his function by modules being rewritten by the Russian).

After calling this function the Russian loses the ability to speak English for some time and switches to some mix of Russian and Chinese. He wishes for a while already to rewrite the whole piece that is being worked on by the Chinese, but he lacks the time. The Chinese have serious bugs hanging on them, of which the management is aware and constantly hurries them up. They hastily reassign the bugs to each other, since they know that attempts to fix them will only lead to new ones that are even worse. And they are right in that thought.

To figure out the order in which the static variables change their values and how exactly that happens only one man in the company can - the Indian programmer. However, he is being in the state of meditation. So, when that whole quartet will be let go during a layoff... and who else can they let go? The Russian haven't finished rewriting his piece yet and the Indian - being the main asset of the company - he rarely pays attention to the project, but when he does - everyone realizes that nobody knows the architecture quite like he does. So, getting back to the layoff... when the Chinese are gone, their code has two possible fates. The first - it will be given to the Russian and he will rewrite it. The second - it will be given to a local, Canadian programmer.

Oh, the Canadian programmer is a special type. He will, like a knight without a fear, thrust ahead without a minute of hesitation to fix the most fearsome bug of the Chinese code. That Bug lives there for three years and the Chinese have already reported four times (once each) to the management that it has been fixed. But the Bug always returned, like the Batman. So, the Canadian will do what Chinese did not dare to for all those three long years. He will, using a debugger, catch the place where a static variable gets assigned the value of 1 instead of the 0 that it is supposed to be and in a decisive move will create another variable next to it with the right value. The Bug will die in the unfair fight with the Canadian programmer.
However that victory will have a heavy price.
Everything will break and stop working, including the piece just rewritten by the Russian. That will make the Russian think about all this for whole two days and then he'll come to the quite predictable conclusion that the whole design was wrong to begin with and everything needs to be rewritten. That will take a week. Two, at the most... The Canadian will bravely go and try to fix everything, but it will only make things worse, even though nobody thought it could... This vain will pull the Indian out of the state of meditation and he will come up with a solution worthy a true genius - to branch the code. According to his plan, they will now support two branches of the code - one with the Bug but working, the other not working but without the Bug. The Russian, when he hears about the plan will break a ruler against an edge of a table and call his wife a bitch at home, however he won't argue at the meeting.

Fortunately, all that does not affect the business much, since the product sells anyway. So the management looks generally satisfied and does not cease to remind everyone that they are selected as the best from the best. And that we have proved our ability to release a product by releasing it from time to time.

Unknown author
Translated from Russian

(20442#я): тебе осталось купить кетайский афтобобиль и все будет харашо

это 5

55% бесплатных 45% платных, год стоит 300 тыс.руб, грубо говоря 5 тыс. долларов год

вольву?
надо подумать

Там ФИО не фигурирует нигде... Ну и пол - это условно-примерно, как и членство в ВЛКСМ. Нет там такого.
Данные менять вряд ли придется (не наездишься по отдаленным далям за каждым реципиентом узнать, что он забыл или соврал.
Но что автоматизируемо - это уже хорошо, спасибо!

(20447#ArchiF):а до какого возраста принимают на обучение в институт?

На всякий случай и во избежание: имелось, что автоматизироваться будет не генерация стопиццот статических страниц, а будет только одна, содержимое которой будет генерироваться динамически и браться из базы.
Так, на всякий случай: а то оставшиеся "двое" за всем могут ведь и не уследить... :oops:

Чо, потянуло? Насмотрелся на симпатишных деффок на его снимках? :crazy:

(20448#я): с чего это вольво стал китайцем?

В МАРХИ? Практически даром. Здесь бы такие расценки

с того же шо и айфон тоже производят...
угадай хде?

кстати, юзаю этого китайса и каждый день открываю для себя новые приятности.
короче, лохи, покупайте айфоны и самсунги за тыщу баксов. этож так модно

Яш, между "производят" - то бишь по чертежам, технологиям и под контролем качества выпускающей фирмы - и "придумывают сами, что в их узкоглазую башку придет", такая разница, что мне аж стыдно тебе на нее указывать. :oops:

(20457#HP):геш, я ж тоже не с луны свалился. юзал многие годы топовый самсунг с топовым андроидом. эпл на дух не переношу. для меня в самсунге важнее всего была кнопка "домой" и сменная батарея. но сейчас этого уже нету нигде. поэтому решил попробовать китайса. как грицца почувсвовал разницу

:D

P.S. Чо за модель конкретно? :)
А стилус есть? А то я пристрастился: удобно, сцукко :oops:

(20455#я): в Израиле продают вольвы собранные в Китае? Тут продаются собранные в Швеции.

(20458#я): Фольксвагены , фордЫ некоторые собирают в Китае(и то, сильно модифицированные) , но только для внутреннего рынка, на экспорт нельзя.

у нас шевроле продают сделанную на заводах дэйво.
называют вечной машиной - купил, хуй продашь

геш, а шо по твоему китайское - вольва произведенное в швеции под руководством китайсев
или айфон произвеленный в китае под руководством мериканцев?